'Twas the fight before Christmas, when all through the house
No one was happy, not even the mouse.
For there was a man named Gary and a woman named Mary,
Who everyone agreed were much too dreary.
They argued all day, they argued all night
You see, they suffered from a most terrible plight.
Mary liked her porridge hot, Gary liked his cold;
Mary was young, and Gary was old.
Gary liked brussel sprouts and Mary liked figs;
Mary liked tuna and Gary killed pigs.
Gary ate the cookies Mary had saved for Santa.
In revenge, Mary drank Gary's orange Fanta.
They tore the chimney down, burned it brick by brick;
It wasn't exactly the nicest of tricks.
For when fat li'l Santa climbed onto the roof,
He fell through the hole and went splat with an 'oof.'
They killed Christmas, and thus they were doomed;
Their neighbors were angry and called them 'Ebenezer Scrooge.'
But soon the mob stopped rioting and instead shed a tear,
Because ol' grandma was run over by Rudolph the reindeer.