Ok, this is like a spin off/prelude to my story "Spartan." The story of Ezekiel Jacobs, a godling and his personal quest of self discovery and coming of age. It has a western setting, y'know, just to be refreshing, so that's what the Narrator's English is atrocious. This isn't the beginning, but it's the first sequence of semi-action, so I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Be sure to give a good critiquing if you read it. Here goes:
I ain't never had no father, just a buncha men Ma would bring around the house. Well, ta' be completely honest, I ne'er really expected much from her. Y'see, ever since my old man wakled out on us, before I was born, she took to bein' a prostitute.
After livin' with her all my life, I took off on the night of my eighteenth birthday. Wrote her a letter 'fore I went, sayin I'd write, so long if nothin' too bad happens to me. Just got on my horese, put on my hat, and left, not lookin' back once. Rode for days before I took refuge in a small slaoon out in the middle a' nowhere. Managed to get there just as thunder started rollin' and a storm started brewin'.
I still don't know why I took off into the storm like I did. I remember sleepin' in the saloon when I heard a man's voice. He was powerful,steady, almost fatherly if I could say that. I ain't never had no father, but that's what it felt like: like I REALLY mind what it was sayin'. So I took off into the night, regardless a' the fact it was stormin' somethin' fierce and was pitch black out. I was ridin when all of a sudden, I felt somethin'......Somethin was out there, an' it didn't want ME out there.
Whatever the hell it was, it slammed into me an' my horse at top speed. I don't really remember the impact itself or any resultin' pain from the hit, just flyin' at an impossible speed and hittin' the ground, bouncin' a buncha times 'fore finally stoppin' face-down in the mud. I managed to get to my feet, mud still stickin' to my face. Needless ta say, I still couldn't see whatever the hell had attacked me. I could hear my horse raisin' all kinds a hell, then a noise unlike an critter I'd ever heard, almost like a screech, then eerie silence...
Suddenly,a frightful roar. Now, if I hadn't been damn near unconscious, I'd have been moreshooken up by it, but at this point, i couldn't stand straight, and fell to my knees. as I started gettin' back on my feet, somethin' came flyin right at my head. In the dark I couldn't see worth nuthin', so it took a moment to manage what was comin at me: the saddle and reins from my horse. I dived quickly ta one side and managed to pull out my pistol. It was still the bitch-middle of the night, so I still couldn't see too well in the dark. I felt the ground to my sideand felt the reins..........they were all jagged-feelin, and had somethin' sticky on 'em, too thick to be water,too thin to be mud......blood.
"Holy hell...." was all I could manage to get put from a powerful disbelief. Then the lightning flashed. I felt th' hairs on th' back of my neck stand up. I had turnedat that moment and stared right horrified as I saw what had attacked me.
Towerin' over me I saw a giant goat's head. It was all scarred-lookin', with jagged horns and breath that smelled like death itself. I had seen the head, but somehow, th' body didn't just quite match. The goat's head was attached to a huge lion's body, fur, paws, and claws and all, just it's size left me in awe. For a tail, oh, damn, the tail, was an awful big python that was bigger than I was. 'Fore I could react properly ta' the beast's hidieous appearance, the goat's head was comin'down at my face. My eyes widened in fear. It was a good spittin' distance away 'fore I felt an invisible force start kinda...pushin' me back. Then the horns hit me, damn them horns. I didn't think I'd ever been hit that hard in my life, felt like damn near ev'ry one my ribs got broke at once. I went flyin' a few good seconds 'fore I hit da ground, landin' on my back, feelin' i'd broke that too. Then I just laid there in the mud, head spinnin', a bit 'a blood runnin' down my face. I was in nowehere near the proper shape to be fightin' whatever the hell this beast was. Right when I laid back, perfectly ready to accept my death, I started hearin' the cloppin' a' hooves in the mud. Nah, couldn't be, my horse was dead. I started lookin' off in the distance, and what I seen then made no sense a'tall. It was a naked feller on a horse.
Now, my vision was blurry, but dammit, I know what I saw. He was carryin two swords, swingin' 'em both over his head as he approached. Now due to th' damage to my noggin I'd experienced, I was sure what I saw next couldn't'a been real. He hadn't been a nude feller on a horse, he was a man with a horse's body attached at th' waist. "I must'a hit my head pretty damn hard..." I managed in my stupor, and the man-horse just laughed. Then he turned towards the beast and galloped at it full-speed, and stabbed one sword in th' goat's head, and then the other, then he dragged it away from me usin' the swords, then kicked it in th' face. He galloped away, then turned an' came back, slicin' off the goat's horns, kickin' in the face again when it started hollerin'. He turned for another attack, but this time, the thing lifted it's goat's head ta' reveal a lion's head in its neck. The lion's head started breathin' fire, but then the man-horse grabbed it by the jaws and hefted it above his head, suddenly yellin at me, "MOVE!!!", 'fore he heaved it in my direction. I had a sudden burst a' energy and hauled ass to move. It landed hard and shook the ground. The pyhton tail whipped out at me visiously, but I pulled out my pistol real quick-like an' started shootin' at it. The python-tail jus got ornery and ripped the gun from m'hand. Then the man-horse yelled at me, but this time his voice had sounded funny. "Τελειώστε το!!" and 'fore I realized what I was doin,I'd grabbed the snake-tail, lifted the whole beast, and had flung it off to one side, not knowin' how I'd done it.
The beast just kinda laid there, lookin pretty much dead, green stuff I had assumed was blood oozin' out of it, and it laid statue-still. I got closer to get a closer look at the damn thing, when the man- horse yelled again, "No!!", but it was too late. The snake-tail came back to life and bit me SO damned hard, square in the chest. The force from the strike made me fall back onto my back in th' mud, leavin me a bit woozy. The man-horse galloped towards me, but as he got closer, my whole body was already startin' to tingle, the air began to stink o' ozone, and my hair was beginnin' to stand up. My vision got even more blurry, and thunder that was the loudest I'd ever heard seemed to quake the ground, and everything was gettin' hot, and the air was gettin' thin. I blacked out 'fore I ever saw the flash, but I smelled the burnin' flesh as my mind slipped into sleep. The beast had been struck by lighning, and somehow or another, I'd caused it.......