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His Silence

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...


Look over your shoulder

At the smiling pictures of

Children dressed as the characters, the caricatures of

Strange fantasies by an oddity of humanity.

Look over your head at them,

Over your shoulder,

Through your body and

Through your silence.

Why are you so silent?


I

Search for anything to say,

Anything,

And nothing comes;

Of course.

Perfect,

Not-very-socialable

Me.


Of course,

Your-girlfriend-who-you-haven't-seen-in-two-weeks

Me.


Of course,

Your-unreliable-second-half

Me.


You stay silent as those little girls--

Not very little, only a year or so younger, I notice--

Giggle and walk purposely past me as if

My virus made me

Blind.


You stay silent as they laugh and whisper,

As if my virus had made me

Deaf.


"Big breakup."

"Big breakup."

You continue to say nothing as we walk back inside,

And when we sing,

You don't coax my fingers to dance in your palm.

You don't

"Finger screw,"

a less explicit version of what I called our little

Pinkies-intertwined-as-well-as-our-heartchords

Dance.


You stay silent as we walk back out.

I didn't sing to you,

You didn't serenade me.


You stayed silent.

His silence killed me that night.


Why is the only thing I lust now

Silence?


....

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