I'm still with you
Even though I'm buried deep underground
My eyes eaten out by worms
My clothes rotten.
I watch you go through everyday
Being friendly with our daughter's husband
Teaching our grandchildren how to fish.
I want to brush your wrinkles away,
To gather you in my arms and tell you 'it's okay.'
I want to murmur nonsense in your ear when you wake from a nightmare.
But I am no more and you can no longer see me
When you come to my grave and lay deep purple roses
That I always secretly despised, no matter how much you loved them.
You would sit on the marble bench,
Similar to the one on our son's grave
And you would remember
When I was young and asked you on a date, deep red with embarrassment
Or when I first kissed you
Or proposed.
When you had our first baby and I ran
All the way from my work to the hospital
A full kilometer.
And was exhausted and choking on air
From asthma I forgot I had.
You would begin sobbing
And I would feel wretched
Sitting down next to you
Not being able to comfort you.
But I'm still with you,
And when you decide to leave
I shall be waiting, my arms outstretched.