Nobody knew.....No-one understands how the clouds do not form animals for me. How they form the horrors of the earth. They do not undertsnad why I do it over and over again. And why I resist against the pills. They do not understand that I had been thinking about it day after day. And I only chose that day, because it was bright and sunny. It was a day, a happy one. But I wanted the world to know why I left on the happy day. Because appearances can be deceiving and life is the worst. It shows us all happy things and then rips them away in a matter of seconds. I hated life so I left. Into the world of death. But then life decided to mess with me, and brought me back. I resisted over and over again. But it was like chains tied me to life. The world was so bright and hasrh and I felt so vunerable. So I tried again. I attempted . But again, life brought me back. I hate life. How it makes the clouds appear in animals shapes just before a storm or how the river seems so clear just before a flood. Or how whenever I try to leave this world, by knife or by rope, life drags me back. But i know I should be thankful.....Because if i died, I wouldn't be with you.