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Prologue

"In order to find x we must add 2x on both sides of the equation. Keyle, would you please try finding x in this equation?" Mr.Smith is our math teacher. Unlike other teachers, Mr. Smith actually doesn't have any favorite student. He never gives any question that he had already given. In order to pass his subject you must really listen to every word he says. Sadly, like most student I do not really care about math. I am your typical high school teenager. I am currently dating Keyle, who is currently in trouble with Mr. Smith as he doesn't know the answer to his question.

Keyle and I are dating, in order to not be outcast by the society. He and I has a mutual understanding, he can touch and do whatever he wants but in return once I say I want it to stop, he'll stop right away without complaining. Keyle is cute, he's athletic and can easily be the cutest boy in our school, if he change his style of clothing.

A bell rang, signaling the end of our math class. Keyle was given extra homework, because of the unanswered question. Keyle asked me if I would like to help him, I said yes. Usually once we have homework, Keyle invites me to his house. His parents are working overseas, back when Keyle was still in fifth grade he lived with a nanny. On his 13 th birthday he made his parents promise to never hire one ever again, so Keyle was left with his cousin Jonathan. Jonathan, sadly is a playboy. He brings home diffirent girls every single day and whenever I'm around he flirts with me as well. Like any other girls, I had been lured in by his magnetism. Keyle caught the two of us on his bedroom once, but he doesn't seem to care. He knows that like any other girl I am a slut. I don't care who's with me as long as he makes me happy. Even if it's my boyfriend's cousin.

On our way to Keyle's we saw out classmate Sandra Dare. She is the top student in our grade. Like normal high schoolers, my friends who call themselves 'earphones' loves to bully her. I had seen them drop all of her notes on the toilet bowl. They had crused her glasses infront of her thousands of times. I remember passing by the restroom once and saw Sandra naked while my so called 'friends' laugh at her. I am not proud of what my friends are doing, I actually want to go against them but I can not. I am a coward.

Sandra was wearing a different outfit than usual. Instead of her regualr pants and boring t shirt, she was wearing this short skirt and a cute green tank top. .Once she saw the two of us she waved and smiled at us. She was walking towards us. I looked at Keyle, he was looking at the gum on the ground, as if it was the most important thing on earth. I may not be the brightest bulb o the planet but I am not dumb to not know that my boyfriend cheated on me. At first I didn't really care. We both know at out relationship is temporary. I cheated on him once too, with his cousin and he doesn't seem to mind, .I guess I have no right to get angry with him.

Once Sandra reached us. She wouldn't stop talking with Keyle. Everytime I try to join the conversation she just pretends not to hear m. I was pissed at her, couldn't she see that I'm the girlfriend and she's just some cheap girl that my boyfriend slept with last night. I finally gave up joining the conversation and started to walk away, not even bothering to glance back to see if they even notice that I was gone.

The stoplight was bright red but I didn't care. The car was still too far away anyway. I crossed the street without a single carein the world. The only thing I wasnted was to run and get away from my Keyle and Sandra.

"SAM!!!" I heard Keyle yelling. .I turn around and saw Keyle standing on the middle of the predestrian, He smiled as he saw me looking at him. At that moment it, I felt like there was only the two of us staring at each other. Our magical moment was broken as ?i heard a loud honk.

The next thing I knew Keyle was laying on the road, uncouncious. Blood starting spilling out of his body. At the first sight of blood, my body was frozen. I coulnd't move, scream or even cry. Everything was too sudden. Awhile ago he was still standing on the middle of the road, smiling at me with that cute lips of his, now he's dead. He's DEAD.

"He's DEAD!"I yelled as .i slowky kneel on my knees and broke down to tears.

Chapter 1[]

Today marks the first day of my high school days. Like most of my friends, I attended Flute High School. Despite the school's name, It never won a single contest in any music related category. I choosed the school mainly because it is the only school within 3km, and I do not know how to drive. (Not planning on learning anytime soon). A vast majority of my middle school classmates attended Flute High as well. Together Melina , Claire and I met outside of my house. The three of us have been friends ever since first grade. Our friendship is stronger than any metals comined, not as strong as diamonds though.(Sadly, they don't trust me enough to tell me their problems).  The three of us were not in the same class. The two of them were on the same class, I on the otherhand was outcasted. I entered my classroom, looking around for a place to sit in. I sat on the farthest corner of the classrom, next to the window. I didn't want to be noticed by others and I certainely am not interested in making new friends, two is enough. During lunch break, I tried finding Melina and Claire. I went to their classroom and asked a girl if they had seen Melina and Claire but she shooked her head, I finally gave up trying to find them after asking all the girls inside their classroom. I ate my lunch on the rooftop. There was no one insight and that was what I exactly wanted. I was lying on the floor, looking at the clouds when the door flew open. Two students came out from the builing. I decided to hide, so I wouldn't attrack attention. the two of them were looking around, and as soon as they found out that no one was around, they started kissing.

As I watched them kiss, I remember the television shows that I had watched. Most people hook up during high School. I remember reading a book once about a famous girl with about 10 boyfriends. I wonder if I would be foreced into that situation as well? Am I going to be a slut while I'm on high school or will I remain innocent until I gradute?

The bell rang and the two of them left the rooftop. I waited for the next bell to rang before really moving from my hidding place.

The rest of the day passed like a blur. I couldn't remember the faces of our teachers, or the name of my classmates who introduced themselves during homeroom. I was too busy trying to remember the scene on the rooftop during lunch break. 

After school ended,  I tried finding Melina and Claire, but like what happened during the beark, the two of them were nowhere to be found. So I head home myself. My mother asked me what happened to school,unlike normal bratty teenagers I told my mother everything. I told her how I spent my day thinking of what I saw on the rooftop. She scolded my but after that, she asked me to do my homework, if I have any.

Melina and Claire came by my house a few minutes after. The two of them weren't alone. They brought some new friends that they met during class. The 2 girls introduced themselves as Mikaella and Argona(She says she was named after the element Argon), there were 2 boys with them as well, Keyle and Justin. The 7 of us spent our time in my bedroom. The two boys playing my residence of evil game( they called me awesome for being a girl with the same interest as guys). The 4 girls on the otherhand search my wardrobe and look for cute dresses. After an hour, the 7 of us finally did out homework.

From what I heard Argona, Melina and Claire are on the same class, while Keyle, Justin and Mikaella are on the same class as me. They were disappointed when I told them that I don't really remember seeing them inside the classroom.

The 6 of them left after dinner( my mom insisted that they eat with us). I noticed something strange about Justin and Argona, it was as if I had seen them before but I couldn't remember when. Maybe it was just my imagination.

Chapter 2[]

"My name is Samantha,I 'm currently 18 on my senior year in Flute High. I have a boyfriend named Keyle. We always go to the mall with Claire and Melina. I really love Keyle. Hey Keyle do you love me too?" The woman asked as she stare at the picture of a young man smilling as he looks at the camera.The woman is in her early thirties, but her actions does not correponds to her age. It was as if her mind stop growing but her body wont follow her mind's example.

Many will pity her condition, but not all will understand what her mind is thinking.She had experienced sadness more than a normal person would in their entire life time but instead of choosing to end her life she chooses to live. A sad tale with no happy endings, just stories that will forver be continued to be written as days pass by. We shall live in an infite world without ever fearing death.

Melina Chare stood up to leave the table. Her two children were finished eating and her husband was already entertaining them in a game of chess. Melina was blessed to have a loving husband who despite his busy schedule still find time to play with their children. As Melina started washing the dishes she couldn't help but reflect on what had happened yesterday.

Melina's parents had stopped being supportive of everything that Melina does. They started hating her job as therapist and the fact that she pays for the hospital bills of her best friend who couldn't afford it after her parents died. They had continued to lecture about all the things that she was doing, how she was going to find herself alone,poor and lifeless on the middle of the street one day if she continues her lifestyle.

She couldn't believe her parents. She knew that they really care about her but it was too much. She couldn't just leave all the things that she was currently doing just for the sake of making her parents happy. Lives are at stake and she couldn't her best friend alone.

Melina looked at her children. The two of them were very absorbed in playing chess. She couldn't picture the two of them living on the streets, begging for money. She wants to give the two of them the best future but at the same time She doesn't want to leave Her friend behind. Her friend sacrificed herself to give me this kind of future. If it weren't for her She would probably behind the bars. She just can't stop helping her.

Tears started falling down from Melina's eyes as thoughts of her best friend flashes around her mind. Everything about her seems so sad, she kept on trying to remember the times that they all laughed together but no matter how hard she tried she could not picture the broken girl ever laughing again.

"Her life is forever broken and its all my fault." Melina mumbled as her tears continue to fall down from her eyes. Her husband hugged her, but even her warmth and tender loving care could not repair the huge scar that was left behind.

We will never forget those that had left burnt marks, as there will always be evidence of the time that they had hurt us. Most people often say that we could forgive but we could never forget. This goes the other way around as well, we may be able to compensate for what we have done by doing something good, but the guilt that had consumed us will never fade away, we may be forgiven but our words and our guilt will never leave our conscience.

Chapter 3[]

It was Keyle's birthday and everyone is invited. Jonathan and his new girlfriend stayed inside his room, doing what ever they want the whole night. Many of those invited where dancing to the beat of the music. I on the other hand was helping Keyle serve drinks to our dearest friends. As I was walking around offering beer, vodka, mountain dews and cokes. I saw Melina and Justin kidding around. I sighed at their PDA, if Argona sees the two of them, she's going to turn into a dragon and attack everyone she sees. Ughhh..What a scary thought.

The six of us Melina, Claire, Argona, Justin, Keyle and I are in our junior year. According to teenage specialists, it is the time of the year that most teenagers have the most fun. This is the year that we start to throughly explore our hidden potentials as humans, also the most crucial time to find ourselves and decide what we really want to be , a slut or a loser. Junior year is the time and season for boyfriends. It is the time of the lifetime where we wont be judge as too young or too old.

Later that evening, I found myself drunk and tired. I was lying on the couch, my head on top of the kness of the boy I was making out with a while ago. I don't even know his name but he is a good kisser and he knows how to make feel like a girl. He was so much different than Keyle who only cares about himself.

Speaking of Keyle, I saw him kissing Argona a while ago, when I was busy kissing this hot guy. Anyways the hot guy leaned down and kissed my forehead, then slowly he licked my face, until he finally reach my lips and kiss it continuously. My mind was too full of thoughts that I can't really concentrate on our kiss.

Why did he licked my face? I'm not lollipop. I'm not even sweet, literally and figuritively. I wonder if this is what guys do to the girls that they like? Lick their whole face?

His lips started to go down, he was licking and kissing my neck. At first I didn't really mind what he was doing, until I felt his hand under my shirt. I told him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. I could feel his hand on my back, trying to take my bra off. I continouosly yelled him to stop and tried to push him off. Finally he fell down on the floor with me. I was on top of him.

"I told you to stop didn't I? Are you deaf or do you just want to piss me off? Jerk." He was speechless for a while as he stares at my eletric blue eyes and long black hair.(Yes I am beautiful). He pushed me off, as if I was just some pillow lying on top of him, and went to attack another girl.

I started to laugh, then all of a sudden tears were rolling down my eyes. I couldn't understand what I was really feeling at that time and place but I do know of one thing, I need someone to comfort me. I need some one to tell me that everything would be alright, but no one came. Why am I so pathetic. Why can't I be like the others? Why do I push away anyone who wants to hold me? Am I too afraid of losing my virginity? I want to know.

Chapter 4[]

It had been a week since Keyle's death. I didn't attend the funeral, afraid that his parents would blame everything to me. My parents encourage me to go but I threw a fit and yelled at them for not understanding what I feel. I love Keyle, yes I love him very much but I can't bear to see him after that accident. I can't bear to see him so calm, peaceful and silent after seeing him so broken and dead.

I could not bring myself to go to school, it was there where were we had so many memories of each other.It was there where we shared the same classes, there where we ate lunch together, it was also the placed where we inflicted pain and sadness towards each other and yelled words we will never be able to take back. Tears started falling from my eyes to the homework I was working on. I crumpled the paper that I was working on and threw it to the trashcan. I couldn't believe what I was doing, how could I calmly sit here and do my homework and go on with my life? While Keyle on the other hand can't even move his fingers let alone do his homework.

I started trashing around the room, I threw everything that my hands could grab hold on. I tore apart pages of any book I could hold on, I threw the lampshade on my desk and started ripping apart the posters on my walls. I DON 'T DESERVE TO LIVE! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME WHO DIED! NO ONE WOULD MISS ME IF I DISAPPEAR! I......I...

"Samantha!." I heard the door opened, but to me it seems like a distant far away land. A land that I would never be allowed to enter ever again.As I was throwing my pillows around, someone grab me from behind. Her hands were strong as those of a lion, I tried to get away from her grip,but my strength was no match to hers.

"Let me go....let me go..I SAID LET ME GO!" I yelled those words again and again, but whoever she was she wont listen to me. She wont let me go...

"Samantha, please stop. There's no one here who would hurt you. I'm here now." I could feel her tears falling down on my shoulders,that was the time I remembered who it was. Who the crying woman was as she tries to stop me from hurting myself.

Ever since the accident my parents forced me to go see a psychiatrist. My psychiatrist is a man who's been living for about 30 years in this world and he seems to think that with age comes wisdom, he fools himself into thinking that he could understand my feelings. The truth is he doesn't understand what I was really thinking and he never would. He doesn't have enough experience and he is already too old to experience the trauma that I have.

Every afternoon, I go to his office and he asks me what I was feeling and every single afternnon I lie. I tell him that I feel great, that I feel as if I live like a princess in a castle, with no worries or what so ever, but as days pass by, my sadness continues to fill up my heart. If this keeps on going, I might turn insane.

Keyle where are you when I needed you the most? Why did you leave me alone? Didn't you promise that you would protect me until the end of time? You said we were going to have babies and that we would name them Nathasha and Zane. You promised me that you would take me to Hawaii for our honeymoon. What happened to all your promises? I trusted you Keyle! Why did you leave me?

Why did you Leave me? No you didn't leave me. You're right here, by my side. We're still together.

I love you Keyle and I will never forget. I will always remember.

Chapter 5[]

It was a simple question that could be answered with either a yes or a no. This one simple question had destroyed and created so many life. I never thought that this same question would be asked when I was 16. 

It was Argona's birthday and I was eager to go to school to give her present. Argona is one the few who actually loves to listen to Japanese music in our school. It appears she love this group called vocaloid. She actually influenced me to fall in love with one of its singers, Len Kagamine. One of Argona's birthday wish was to be able to have an album of vocaloid.I manage to buy one of mothy's album. Monthy is one of the many songwriters in vocaloid. If you haven't heard of Servant of Evil I would advise you to do so or Argona will kill you. I actually overslept because of excitement. I was ten minutes late when I arrived at the school gates. I was given detention and was lectured for five minutes before I was allowed to sit .The class was boring, it was easy to fall asleep and daydream about ponies. Just as the ponies were about to save the world, I heard the bell ring. "Sleeping beauty, if you don't go to the locker room now, Coach will give you another detention and if you do get another detention we are not going to wait for you Sleeping beauty." I looked up and saw Keyle looking at me with a smile on his face.  At first I wasn't really interested with what Keyle was saying. I don't really care about Physical Ed, in fact I hate it. But I began to realize that if I was given another detention, I wouldn't be able to go to Argona's birthday celebration. 

Physical Ed was hell. I was asked by the teacher to run 10 times around the gym because he hated my face. After running, he made me climb the training wall within 5 minutes and when I failed the task he made me run around the gym 30 times. I was so tired when Physical Ed ended. 

The next two period passed like a blur and then it was lunch time. As usual I arrived there after half of my schoolmates already finished eating lunch. My usual friends Argona, Keyle and the others were gone and I was all alone, eating my lunch.

"Sleeping beauty why are you avoiding me?" My heart jumped a beat, and I immediately stood up without thinking.  I was embarrassed of my rudeness and decided to just leave. I was a few steps away from the table I was eating on a while ago when someone grabbed my hand. I had a hunch who it was, and I wasn't in the mood to talk to him. 

"Let me go." I ordered.

"Listen for me a minute Sam. I need to talk to you." he pleaded

"I don't want to talk to you!"

"I like you Sam. Why can't you accept my feelings Sam? Why won't you go out with me?" I turned to look at him. His eyes were the shade of dark black,like those of a puppy. I shook my hand and escape from his grasp.

I ran away.

 ____________________________________________________________________________

It had been a week after he asked me out and until now I still haven't answered his question. I do not know  if we actually have mutual feelings towards each other. I do not  know him enough to trust his words. Never had I been attracted to him until he asked me those question. Ever since that day, I have been thinking about him. All of a sudden, all of his actions scares me. My heart jumps a beat everytime he walks near me. 

"Sam, you need a boyfriend." Melina said while she was putting on her pink nail polish. Claire, who was texting, laughed.

"Melina deary, Sam is not ready to have boyfriends yet and we shouldn't force her to have one, just because all of us have boyfriends doesn't mean she also needs a boyfriend." said Claire. I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or honest because her eyes never left the screen of her phone.

Argona stood up from her seat and sat next to me. She was looking at me with her sparkling blue eyes and for the very first time I realize how beautiful she was. Her brown hair was tied in a ponytail. She has this really white skin and her black t-shirt actually looks good on her. If I was a boy, I would totally fall in love with her. She leaned closer to me and whispered, "Justin broke up with me. He said she finds you more attractive than me, if you say yes to him I'll make sure you will regret that you ever lived."

A knocked on the door made all four of us jumped. The nail polish Melina was holding spilled on the floor, Claire almost dropped her cellphone. Argona and I both crawled away from each other.

The door opened to reveal my mother  holding a tray of beverages and snacks.

"Sorry to startle you. Sam, there are two boys downstairs who wants to talk to you. Should I send them home or..?"  I looked at Argona, she was smiling while she helps my mother with the tray.  I looked at Claire and Melina, the two of them were helping themselves with the snacks. I sighed and went down without telling anybody, I doubt they even noticed me leave.

The two boys on the living room were Joshua and Keyle.

Chapter 6[]

My heart beats faster and faster as the sound of footsteps grew louder and louder. I tried to breathe slowly. Inhale ,exhale, inhale, exhale. There’s nothing to worry about. She’s just visiting and besides it was my idea in the first place.



“Melina!”



I turned to face the woman in front of me. It has been about 5 years since I last saw her, but nothing has changed. Her brown eyes scanned the room with excitement, but when she saw my face all the happiness was drained from her face.



“Who are you?” she asked.



I slowly walk towards her and hold her hands. “It’s me, your best friend. Don’t you remember me? My name is Melina.”



She let go of my hands and scratch my face. “You’re not Melina! You’re not Melina! You’re not Melina.” There were tears falling down from her eyes as she repeatedly yelled that I was not who I claim to be. Slowly she fell on her knees and cried while sitting on the floor. My husband turned to his attention to Sam. He tried to get her up to her feet, but Sam continued to struggle against him.



“Let me go! Let me go!”



“Let her go.  I’ll call her parents to come pick her up.”  I told my husband.


“Don’t call my parents! They’ll just lock me inside my room!” I ignored her outburst and dialled her parent’s number. As I was about to press the call button, a shoe came flying me way.


“I SAID DON’T CALL HER!”



My husband tried to calm her down but it was no use. She bit his arm and started throwing everything that she could set her eyes on.



I put my phone on the table and then walk up to her. “Wake up Sam. It’s been 5 years, you can’t bring back time. You’re already 20 years old. There is still time to make your dreams happen. If only you’ll wake up.”


“If only you’ll wake up.”


I felt a sharp pain on my right cheek as she slapped me. “Bring back Keyle! Bring him back! I want him back! I want him back!”


I tackled her down and hugged her. “Sam, He’s already gone. Please wake up."


Chapter 7[]

Inside the pink painted walls of the room, a girl sits on the farthest corner from the door. It has been days since she last left the room and it has been weeks since she took a shower. She would have died of starvation if her mother has not forced feed her for the last four days.



It was hard for her parents to keep on living with a daughter who is worst than a dog. There were days when she'll walk out of her room and grab a knife from a kitchen and carve the words kill on every single wood her eyes could see and then afterwards she'll cut herself until there's a pool of blood on her dress.



The two couple doesn't know what they should do to their daughter. They consulted various psychatrist who advises them to take her to an alysum. But by doing so, they were afraid of what their daughter would feel and say about them. Because despite the mental illness that is slowly corrupting the young girl's mind there was still a corner of her brain that is sane. They could feel the icy glare coming from the girl whenever they catch her listening to their conversations.



What would she say when she regain her composture? She'll be mad for sure. She'll blame us for everything. The 45 year old woman say to her husband.



"What do you want us to do? Let her stay here until the two of us die? We're not getting any younger Whilheny. It's just a matter of time before we lose our job and turn to our relatives for help. What will happen to her then? No one will take a full grown 20 year old as an adoptive daughter! For once in our lives let's think about ourselves Whilheny."



But before the blonde haired woman respond to her husband, the phone ring. Slowly she got up from her seat and grab the phone.



"Yes, this is Miss Whilheny."



"Are you sure?"



"Yes. Yes. 11 am is it? Yes. Yes."



"Bye"



Whilheny put down the phone and faced her husband. "One more chance Robert. If nothing happens I'll agree with you."

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