So yes, I've wrote a bunch of depressing love stories before, haven't I? Well, guess what's more depressing? Depressing friendship stories (Ok, not really but still. This is more of a friendship story then a depressing one. Did I scare you?). Thought I'd give it a try. P.S. School's been crazy lately. Sorry for the lack of active-ness. --Cello freak 04:02, September 19, 2011 (UTC)
She's sitting there, unable to think. Unable to move. Unable to do talk. Unable to do anything, really.
"The tests, there must be something wrong," she protests, but the doctor shakes his head.
"These tests are done professionally, with everything detailed. It's impossible to be."
"Are you sure? There wasn't any machines broken? No one drunk while they were doing this!?" she protests again, unable to even let the words sink in even a little bit.
She stands up, numb. A deep breath. "I'll be going now, thank you." She starts walking through the door despite the doctor's protests.
"Don't you want to know about the treatments? Don't you want the details?" the doctor calls after her, only to be answered by the door slamming shut. She walks along the hallway, trying to block out the half imagined groans and moans and whimpers coming out the hospital rooms. She walks faster, half running now. Tears are streaming down her face uncontrollably against her will. Cancer.
She only stops shaking and wiping her tears away when she gets to the front door of the hospital, the front door she had walked in half an hour ago cheerily, talking to one of her best friends. The friend that's waiting outside that door right now in her car, waiting for good news with a good 12 pack of Coka Cola, some junkfood, and a heap load of rented movies.
She took a deep breath and walk out the door, the sun shinning in her eyes as she squint to adjust to the sudden change of light.
"Hey!" she hears her friend call, and her head immediately turns to the sound. She sees her friend in her small blue convertible buggy, windows down, waving at her. "Hey, over here!" her friend calls again, as if she thought she didn't hear her in the first place.
She waves back, a forced smile on her face. "Hey!" she calls back, walking down the stairs. She looks quickly to both sides beforecrossing and entering her friend's car.
"So how was it?" her friend asks as she opened the passenger door and settling herself in the passenger seat, smiling and handing her a can of Coke before starting up the car and driving on to the road.
Her lips trembles just the slightest bit. "Fine," she murmurs, opening the can with a good pop!
Her friend squints at the road a bit before turning to her. "You don't look fine," she comments before turning back to the road.
"It was perfectly fine. Nothing wrong at all," she says, but she knows that she just sounds like she's reassuring herself. She takes a small sip of Coke.
Her friend shrugs. She knows this shrug. It meant that she'll give her time, but when that certain amount of given time is up, she'll beat it out of her whether she wants to tell or not. "My sister called. She says hi."
She nods. A change of subject. This was good. "Hm, how's LA going for her?"
Her friend yawns. "Same ol', same ol'. I got the plane tickets for me to head back to San Fran next week. Then this old car will be all yours," she says, patting the wheel.
She laughs. "I still find it ridiculous that you go on a road trip in your car, get to your final destination, and decides to give your car to me while visiting."
"Hey! When I was on a road trip here, I got friends with me, and when they weren't with me, it was an adventure 'cause I had no idea what was going on! Now it just seems so lonely going back now, since I have an idea of where to go," she protests. "Plus, when you come to see me, I'll take the car back."
She quirks an eyebrow, a hint of smile playing on her face. "And just when will that be?"
"Eh, I dunno. When I start to miss it. I've got a scooter back home, and a bike."
"So, next week then?" she jokes, because she knows her friend will miss her car horribly. After all, it was one of her first big purchase when she had first gotten in that art university she was aiming for since high school. Now she was at New York visiting her.
"Well, basically, yeah."
She laughs again. Then a thought strikes her. "Why did you decide to travel across America all of the sudden?" she asks.
She notices her friend tense a bit. "Well, er, you know, I'm done with uni, thought it might be a fun trip before I send out applications to companies and stuff." Her friend adds a shrug to brush it off. "Why?"
She leans back on her seat. "Just wondering."
Silence hung over them. It was comfortable, however, despite the whole situation. Both were thinking about their problems. Their future.
"We're here," her friend says suddenly, pulling in the driveway. "Home, sweet home." She stops the engine and pulls the car keys out. "Stuff's in the back."
She gets out of the passenger seat and climbs out, making her way to the trunk. She opens it while her friend gets out of the car. "You know," she says, "you buy way too much junk food."
Her friend laughs, closes the car door and joins her. "You've gotta feed what's in there," she says, pointing to the house.
She laughs, knowing that her two best friends for years were also rooming with her in the small town house. She takes two of the Safeway grocery bags filled with chips and ice cream out of the trunk. "They're happy you're here, you know."
"Hm, just like old times," her friend says, smiling, getting the remaining groceries out of the car trunk.
"Just like old times," she murmurs, walking off while her friend closes the trunk and went to retrieve the 12 pack Coka Cola and rented movies she had forgotten in the backseat.
She takes her house keys out of her jean pocket and unlocked the door while her friend made her way to the front door. "Which movies did you choose?" she asks, lightening up the mood once again. She opens the door and went in, her friend following.
"Er.." She could almost feel her friend's eyebrows scrunch up as she tries to remember which movies she rented. "Some Disney, Transformers, and something else. Forgot." Covering it, she yells, "We're back! With food!"
Her remark was answered by the sound of running, and of "Hey!" and "Took you long enough!" The two greets them before running of with the groceries and movies, looking through what they had gotten, what movie, what food, was there chocolate?
Her friend smiles. "Going to be a fun last night," she remarks, casually, following the friends to the kitchen.
She answers her in silence. Her friend frowns and stops walking.
"Why didn't you tell us you have cancer?"
"Huh?" For a minute her friend looks momentarily confused, her brain still analyzing the words, trying to figure out what it meant.
"Why didn't you tell us you have cancer?" she asks again.
Her friend stood frozen in place. "Oh. That." And then she pipes up, as if she had just thought of a clever comment that can be used against the whole situation. "How'd you know?"
"Doesn't matter," she says, brushing it off. "I was at the hospital, doing my general check up, when I overhear two doctors talking about some treatment for some patient that had just checked in from San Fran. Over heard your name too. So I asked them, they said it was confidential. Suddenly, a friend of mine who I first met when I came, he comes up and asks if I needed anything. He took me to his office and did a little explaining. Saying he's working on your case. I left before he could talk about whatever treatments you're going to take. He did ask me if I knew any of your lifestyle, since sometimes asking a close friend is more accurate or something." She takes a deep breath. "There. I've told you everything. Now, spill."
Her friend rubs the back of her neck. "Well, basically... Two months ago I got the news. 50/50 chance. My mom knows. So does my sisters. And I got news that my treatment is going to be moved to New York. So I think, hey, why not take a road trip? It's only like, 2 weeks. That's what I did."
"And you're going away tomorrow back to San Fran because?"
Her friend sighs. "Hospital treatments here at New York. I gotta go live there, didn't want you guys to find out. So... I kinda lied about going back to San Fran." Her friend looks sheepish as she explains, like somehow it made more sense in her mind than when she said it aloud.
"We're your best friends! We're not suppose to find out. We're suppose to know!" She was close to raising her voice now. Her anger at her lying, her not telling them soon enough. A wave of sadness flooded her before she could even lecture and yell at her friend for not telling them.
Her friend, for once in a long time, seems to be at a lost for words. "I-It's just that I don't want you guys to worry, I mean, I was going to tell you all eventually. When I get chemo and stuff."
She hates herself for doing it, but she cringes at the word chemo. It was then that everything began to sunk in slowly, and her vision began to blur.
"Hey," her friend says, her tone soft. "Hey, it's ok."
It's stupid, she knows. She's crying when her friend has cancer. She was the one that should be comforting her right now. And yet she's crying. Her friend had a 50/50 chance of living and she's the one crying.
Her friend takes her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's fine. I'm going to be fine. I still have things to do, people to see, places to travel. I won't stop fighting."
She wipes her tears away and squeezes her friend's hand back. "Are you scared?"
Her answer was barely audible. "Terrified."
"It's going to be fine though, right?"
Her friend smiles. It wasn't faked, like the ones that she puts on to pretend she's strong or to reassure her. It was a real, genuine smile. "Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be fine."