“I guess it’s time we go,” Mother said as she looked at me. “Yeah,” I said, feeling my voice shaking, it was betraying me. Mother gave me a weak smile as she got out of the car, me following behind. I gazed at the funeral house right before me. I felt my eyes burning, looked down at my shoes.
As we walked into the funeral home, I looked around. Mother had left me standing here, went somewhere else. I sighed. The room was silent, filled with hot air. Each time I breathed in, I thought I would die. Not only hot air and silence, uncomfortable aura, tension, sadness, and most of all, the whole house smelled like death.
I got lost in my thoughts, thinking about nothing, just not seeing anything. Finally, I saw my mother waving to me. So, I went up to her, she was smiling weakly at me.
“What is it, Mother?” I asked.
“Are you ready to say good-bye to–“ I interrupted her:
“Did you do it?” I asked.
“Yes, already.” She turned her face away from me, I saw tears sliding down her cheeks.
“N-no, I’m still not ready,” I was always uncomfortable with the sight of a crying Mother, “I’ll take more time, okay?” I wasn’t waiting for a response.
As I walked away, I felt gazes burning me, burning me to ashes. I coughed as I breathed in more of the hot deathly air. I walked around, doing nothing, seeing nothing, remembering memories of her death.
Flashback
I knock at the door to my crush, no one answers. I have the nerve to ask her out. I know her parents aren’t home, she’s here. I knock once more.
Silence.
I turn the door knob for curiosity’s sake. It’s open, to my surprise.
As I walk in, the house is hot and smells of death. Each and every room is dark. Notice a dull light shining to somewhere. Look down. A flashlight on the floor.
‘Why the hell would anyone turn off the lights and get a flashlight?’ I ask myself. Anyway, I go the way the flashlight’s light was pointing to. I open the door.
Blood.
Blood.
Rivers of blood.
Blood all over the room.
On the floor,
On the door,
On the wall,
On the ceiling.
I gasp at the sight, run into the room, turn on the lights.
Her.
Dead.
‘No! She’s still alive! There must be a chance!’ I kneel down to her, do anything I can:
Treat her wounds,
CPR,
Slap,
Splash cold water on her face,
Nothing works.
I pick her up, hold her close to my body. Take out my phone with one of my free hands. Call “911.” Wait 5 minutes. Hear dull sounds from the siren. Run outside. I feel my eyes burning, but no, I will not cry.
‘I failed,’ I think, ‘I failed,’ I know.
End of Flashback
I felt a lump in my throat. Looked up to see Mother waving to me. She was still smiling, only her eyes were sadder than the deep lonely ocean. I walked up to her.
“Are you ready?” She asked.
“Yeah, sure.” My voice is cracking, betraying me.
She lead me halfway to the coffin, smiled weakly, her eyes damp and wet. I walked up. Closed my eyes. Took a deep breath. Opened my eyes.
My face went deathly pale. I looked at my crush. She was dead. No! No! No! This can’t be! She’s still alive, she has to be! I thought. I hoped. Felt my eyes burning. Placed my hand over my mouth. My lips quirked into a smile. I turned my head to look at Mother. Turned back to my crush.
“Good luck there, in the heavens, sweetheart.” I gasped as I bent down to her, “I love you, and I’m sorry I have kept it for years. I don’t care if you don’t feel the same for me, I just want you the best. I love you.” I said, as I kissed her. It wasn’t just a peck on the cheek. I kissed her. Right in the lips – and I never wanted to let her lips go, but alas, we finally broke apart, I did. I looked at her, her cheeks went slightly pink. I smiled. Kissed her forehead. “I love you, I love you.” I said as I partly got into the coffin with the other half of my body still standing. I never wanted this kiss to end. I was sobbing soflty, kissing her all over her face. And, suddenly, a song/poem popped up in my head:
Oh,
How I love you, sweetheart,
How I want you here,
Just beside me, sweetheart,
That’ll be enough,
Your angelic smile,
Bringing peace to the world,
How I love you, sweetheart,
Blue eyes filled with hope,
How I love you,
How I love you,
I wish you could know,
I wouldn’t be here,
If it wasn’t for you,
Oh,
How I love you sweetheart,
How I love you, Snow.
I smiled, got out of the coffin, and said, “Don’t forget my love for you, Snow!” and then sand out that song:
“Oh,
How I love you, sweetheart,
How I want you here,
Just beside me, sweetheart,
That’ll be enough,
Your angelic smile,
Bringing peace to the world,
How I love you, sweetheart,
Blue eyes filled with hope,
How I love you,
How I love you,
I wish you could know,
I wouldn’t be here,
If it wasn’t for you,
Oh,
How I love you sweetheart,
How I love you, Snow.”
I heard a soft, beautiful whisper into my ear, “I love you, too.” I knew it was her, it was Snow – plus, the snow was falling nonstop outside. It was her, it was my love, my soul-mate, my Snow.
