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Sometimes I Wonder

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Sometimes I wonder...

What's the point of it all? Why do we do it? How can we do it? How can we surivive? Why are we so heartless? Why are we so cold? When did I start referring to everyone else in the world as "we"? How can I surivive? How did she make it? How, why, where, when, who, what--

Why do we bother to struggle?

I wonder just how far you know

This pain, the struggle really goes

I can't even explain myself

Just why I'm not swimming in a wealth

Of happiness, joy, sunshine, flowers

What is it, stress that devours?

I doubt the theory; it's probably the snowball

And now, even as I get so tall,

I find myself shrinking in my fear and my anxiety...

I find myself shrinking so small

That I'm not even there

At all.

Sometimes I wonder

Just how much you really see

All of you, on the surface, or do you really see

...Me?

All my flaws and mistakes

Chinks in the armor, self-doubts

Past the "XD"s and the chatroom and the uploaded pictures

I wonder, after my bouts

Of my terror,

Just how much you really see

Just how much you really trust

Just how much you know

Just how much you really mean

To me.

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