Once upon a time, there was a boy. This boy did not have a name, as he did not want one. Anyways, this boy was in the 13th grade. He was four years old. It is very rare for a four year old to be in the 13th grade. There is one big problem though. He cannot hold his pencil. Our story starts on February 32nd.

"Mr. Teacher!" said the boy.

"Yeeeeees?" said Mr. Teacher.

"I can't hold my pencil!"

"Be quiiiiiiet!" said Mr. Teacher.

The boy grabbed his pencil, but then he dropped it.

"Detention! No throwing pencils!" Mr. Teacher shouted.

The boy always got detention for throwing pencils. He picked up his pencil, but he grabbed it by the point. It poked his hand, and he dropped it.

"OUCH!" he shouted. He stuck his cut in his mouth.

"Go sit in the chair in the hall!" Mr. Teacher said.

The boy picked up his stuff. When he picked up the pencil however, an electric blast went up his arm, and he dropped everything he was holding.

Mr. Teacher didn't like this. "GO STAND IN THE CORNER!"

"This is a round room," the boy said. That got him triple detention.

At detention, he was supposed to write lines. He had to write "I will stop being a stupid dummy." infinite times. He picked up a pencil to start writing, and his hand lit on fire.

"AHH!" he dropped the pencil, and Mr. Teacher saw. He got a month of detention. He picked up his pencil to continue, but it turned into Bigfoot, and attacked him. The boy got in trouble for not writing his lines, and letting monsters in class AGAIN. The boy decided he wasn't going to take any more of this. He grabbed his pencil, and held on to it! At least, until he realized it was STILL Bigfoot, and dropped it. He turned it back into a pencil, and grabbed it.

"YES!" the boy said. He thought he had it. Only if he knew it wasn't his pencil he was holding. Just a twig. Mr. Teacher knew. He yelled at the boy for breaking the "No Twig Rule of 1994". The boy was expelled from school. He was so mad, he wanted to hit Mr. Teacher with a pencil. So he grabbed his pencil, but it flew into the air, and started hitting the boy. It chased the boy as he ran.

"WHY?! Why is this mean pencil chasing me? I didn't do anything to deserve this!"

It turns out, he DID do something to deserve it. He had farted when he was a baby. Although this may SEEM like a small crime, you would say otherwise if you had been there.

"HAH!" Mr. Teacher said. That was a mistake, however. The pencil flew at Mr. Teacher, and started hitting HIM. Mr. Teacher grabbed the pencil, but his arm fell off, and he dropped the pencil. In the end, they discovered it was the pencil causing the problems. Not the boy.


For real. Go away.

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